11192017Headline:

Strange Behavior

Well, it’s officially January in Kansas, which means the weather here is sucking our will to live. A new blanket of snow was thrown over our dreams of escape, two days ago, and the cabin fever is not so much the log cabin type, as it [...]

Backtalk

I have to admit, being a perfect parent would go a little smoother if my children would stop saying things like, “You, leave me alone.” Sometimes, I don’t think any of them realize I’m trying to look better than all [...]

A Simple Grocery Store Explosion

Fun fact #250 If you try taking pen marks off your dining room table, using only a Magic Eraser and wishful thinking, it’ll take the finish off and leave you with a table that only makes you cry in certain types of light. But enough bragging [...]

A Special Breakfast

Plans to deal with the Split level are up and running, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t lost massive amounts of sleep, staring at the back of my eyelids and wondering whether we really should pack everyone up and join the next passing [...]

I’d Be Pleased To Welcome Gwyneth Paltrow

Things ran on a pretty even keel at this weekend. Nothing blew up, I put on a real shirt with buttons, and Husband watched the kids while I went to the grocery store by myself. Never fear, just because the Kellermans didn’t experience [...]

Unhappy Plants

I think I’ve figured out why the fake plant is dying. Balding and sad, the source of the living room’s right corner palm tree’s malaise seems to be the children picking its leaves off and stabbing each other with them. Shocking. [...]

Baby Bar Fights

You don’t know because you don’t live with us (prayers of thanksgiving should be saved for the end of this post, so you don’t get sidetracked with your enthusiasm and forget to read these finely-crafted words), but Doc doesn’t [...]

Sundance At the Wedding

Afternoon Readers, I’m not sure how many of you are married, thinking about getting married, or planning a wedding right now, but after you order the cake, book the DJ, and buy two tons of colored almonds, please remember to also invite [...]

Seven Innings

My internet is doing the dance of death today, so if there are more disjointed thoughts than usual in this post, please know that it’s a technology problem and not my usual literary prowess. Now then, by way of wearing tinfoil hat while holding [...]

Measuring Success

Susan was upset the floral-print blouse she ordered didn’t compliment the monkey as well as she’d hoped. Morning Readers, It’s only 10am, and I’m already out of coffee. Which only goes to show that letting your [...]